Wedding Party Gifts: Thank-Yous for the Best Man, Bridesmaids and Parents

A wedding takes a small army. The best man who wrote the speech, the bridesmaids who steamed dresses at midnight, the parents who did, well, everything: a well-chosen thank-you gift, handed over on the morning or at the wedding breakfast, is one of the nicest traditions of the day.

Who traditionally gets a gift?

There is no fixed rule, but most couples thank the best man, ushers, bridesmaids, maid or matron of honour, any page boys and flower girls, and both sets of parents. Many also remember the person who gave a reading, the friend who did the flowers and whoever looked after the rings.

Role	Classic gift	With a twist
Best man	Engraved hip flask or cufflinks	Personalised poker chip set or card guard with the wedding date
Ushers	Matching cufflinks or socks	Engraved tankards, one per usher, used for the toast
Bridesmaids	Initial necklace or bracelet	Compact mirror engraved with a private joke
Maid of honour	Jewellery and a keepsake box	Spa day or afternoon tea for two
Father of the bride	Engraved cufflinks or watch	Whisky tumblers with "Father of the Bride" and the date
Mother of the bride / groom	Photo frame or bracelet	A handkerchief embroidered with the date, given before the ceremony
Page boys and flower girls	A named book or teddy	A little keepsake box for their buttonhole or petals

The best man and ushers

Engraved gifts for the groom's side have barely changed in fifty years, and for good reason: cufflinks and hip flasks get used. The trick is personalisation that goes beyond "Best Man". Try the wedding date and venue, a line from the stag do that only they will understand, or the co-ordinates of the pub where you met.

If your best man and ushers are the group who play cards every month, a personalised poker set is the gift they will talk about. A case of clay-composite chips with the couple's initials on the inlay, a deck of plastic playing cards printed with the wedding date and a weighty metal card guard engraved with each usher's name make a set that comes out at every game night for years. Our guide to gifts for poker players explains what to look for in chips, cards and card guards, and how much a decent set costs.

Stag and hen dos: the gift before the gift

The stag or hen do is often where the wedding party bonds, and it increasingly comes with a theme. A casino night is one of the most popular: a long weekend in Las Vegas or a closer-to-home trip to one of the big British casinos for the adventurous, or a hired "fun casino" with play money in a function room, a cottage or the back room of a pub for everyone else. Personalised touches make it feel like a celebration rather than a night out: chips printed with the couple's names, a "high roller" sash for the bride- or groom-to-be, and a little engraved trophy for whoever finishes with the biggest stack. Our casino-night party ideas cover the details, including what a fun-casino company provides.

Bridesmaids and the maid of honour

Jewellery is the most common choice because it can be worn on the day: an initial pendant, a birthstone bracelet or pearl stud earrings. A personalised compact mirror or a keepsake box is a good alternative if your bridesmaids have very different tastes. Many couples present these at a pre-wedding breakfast so the jewellery can be worn for the photographs.

Parents

Gifts for parents are usually sentimental: a photo frame engraved with the wedding date (to be filled with a picture from the day), a handwritten letter, a keepsake box. Engraved whisky tumblers or a decanter for a father of the bride who enjoys a dram are a long-standing favourite. See our glassware guide for which engraving methods survive the dishwasher.

A note on the best man's speech

A wedding tradition you will find at plenty of British receptions is the speech sweepstake: guests on one table put a coin into a glass and pick a slip with a time on it, and whoever is closest to the actual length of the best man's speech takes the pot. It works best when everyone knows it is happening except the best man. Keep the stakes tiny and the winnings for the bar; for a more structured version, borrow the format from our Grand National sweepstake kit.

When to hand them over

Most couples give thank-you gifts either on the morning of the wedding (so jewellery and cufflinks can be worn) or during the speeches, where the groom or couple traditionally thank the wedding party by name. Gifts for page boys and flower girls are best given early in the day, as a reward for good behaviour to come.

Written by the Ribbon & Tag editors.